Skinny Love
by Emmwel
Summary: "You're beautiful." And yet she couldn't believe it.  Contains references to bulimia


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto... yet. Nah, just kidding.  
**Characters:** Sakura, Ino, Tenten, Hinata. Both Naruto and Sasuke are mentioned.  
**Pairings:** You can see a bit NaruSaku. I never thought I'd actually write a thing even resembling their relationship as romantic, but it was kind of fun to write. But really, I'm not even sure if it is noticeable.  
**Rating:** T. Think I got that one quite right, actually.  
**Dedication:** To my peers, yeah.  
**Rant:** I wrapped this up in a hour or so, but I really needed to write it. The thought of this wouldn't leave me alone. So I wrote it. And I'm kinda pleased. About the ending though, it might seem a bit rushed, but after she did _that_, she regained her composure and went back to normal. It calmed her down, and I tried to picture that. Hope it worked.  
The title is relevant, at least I think it is... Of course I took it from Bon Iver - Skinny Love. But it just fitted, somehow. I think.

* * *

The mirror, the reflection, and the broken face that belonged to her, made her shiver while slightly cursing herself inwardly. She was older, for god's sake. She didn't think like _that_ anymore.

She twirled. The dress followed.

_Come on; be happy,_ she told herself. _You can do this._

Sakura had green eyes – dull, unhappy, broken, lost – and natural pink hair. She looked astounding, Ino said. The dress fitted perfectly, and was the one of her dreams, the one she thought she'd never find… but she really wanted to. She wanted to do _that_. Even though she was so pretty, so beautiful, she _wanted_ to do that.

Her frown described her feelings perfectly, as did her mouth – slightly open but still giving of an impression of awe, while showing the bemusement that existed inside of her.

Unfortunately, she was in to deep to stop now, she needed it to much by now. It was gross, that was true, and if anyone found out, they'd looked at her with a face of shock before it turned into a face of disgust, but she had to.

Sakura couldn't leave without it, even though she was so pretty, even though her hair was curled perfectly, even though this was the best day of her life, she had to.

She was never one to defy her body's wishes, anyway.

"Can you leave me alone, for awhile?" she kindly asked Ino, her maid of honour and her other two bridesmaids, Tenten and Hinata.

The all smiled at her and whispered encouragements, before they left her alone, the door slamming shut behind them.

She wiped away the fake smile that had been plastered onto her face, and let the feelings of panic show as she frantically ran a hand through her hair. Quickly she fixed her hair again, and then turned to look at the mirror to convince her own mind to _not give in_.

What would Naruto say if he knew what she was doing?

He'd look disappointed, but then he'd tell her she was beautiful and that she shouldn't be doing… _that_. After that he'd pick her up with his weirdly strong arms and hug her, telling her it'd be okay, they'd get through it together, she had nothing to worry about.

Nothing to worry about, who the hell did she think she was kidding? First, she'd never ever tell him that. Sasuke and Naruto weren't the only ones with a tremendous amount of pride. Sakura wouldn't fall as low to tell him that, she just couldn't. Her heart ached just at the thought of him pushing her away.

Forcefully, she looked straight into her own eyes, willing herself to not drop a single tear, because then she'd ruined her friends' hard work.

Her green eyes, one thing she actually liked with herself. She hadn't met a single person – except for her mum – with eyes that even were close to hers. They were, well, she had to admit, her eyes were mesmerizing.

She dropped her gaze lower to her breasts. She felt like a fucking failure, she wasn't alluring at all when it came to her body. Where were all those curves all of her friends had? Sakura couldn't look at it anymore; she just wanted to do it even _more _when she looked at certain parts of her body. Sighing, she made herself look away, away from the precise mirror, away from herself, and to see something more beautiful.

But as quickly as she had looked away, her eyes darted back. It was like she wanted to suffer, and maybe she did. She wasn't sure yet.

Pink strands of hair framed her face, but the rest was put on the back of her head in a messy-but-not bun. Of all the curses in the world, she got pink hair. Totally abnormal was what she thought of it and she also thought pink hair shouldn't have been allowed to exist. Couldn't she have gotten Sasuke's black, silky hair? Ino's blond strands weren't too bad either. Or better yet, red hair. Because then it wouldn't be that different from her original hair colour.

She had considered to dye it once, and immediately confided it in Ino. But the blonde had shaken her head, and told her that she should be proud to be so different, so remarkable. Sakura hadn't gotten it.

She still hadn't.

Sakura left the mirror with rushed steps – she was in a hurry after all. However, this didn't stop her from doing what was so unreasonable and forbidden she shouldn't even had thought of it in the first place. She had heard of it, sure, but she didn't really know anymore what had crossed her mind, that day when she did it for the first time.

Maybe it was because it had been _that_ day… the day he left. Somehow, she had sensed it the whole day. She'd felt the dread in her body, she just didn't know what would happen, but the stress in the end took the better of her, and she had felt so _fat_, so she did it. Right then and there, she did it. The mistake of a lifetime, the thing that would always haunt her, had he caused, and she blamed it on him fully. Or did she? She wasn't as sure as she had been for the past years…

A cry escaped her lips as she opened the door to the bathroom, clutching the golden handle with a trembling hand. But she kept going. Walking past the sink, she easily grabbed a random toothbrush, and fell down to the floor, while crying painfully.

She held the teal coloured toothbrush close to her chest, protecting it from its fate.

"Sakura?" a quiet voice whispered, and she knew that the person in question was standing in the doorway, watching her carefully, probably wondering if they should walk forward or not.

She wiped the tears away – and a heavy amount of make up accompanied – and readied her voice to speak without a trace of her despair. "Please leave. I'll be out in a sec."

The door closed, and she could hear the steps as the person walked out of the room outside of the bathroom. When the sound of the door closing was made, she finally relaxed, and broke apart again.

And then she laughed, following the steps she always went through right before she did _that_ to perfection. Cautiously, she then leaned forward, and eased the toothbrush into her mouth, and bent over the toilet, letting it all out. Why couldn't she believe it? Why couldn't she think she was beautiful?

She felt better in a matter of seconds, and then dropped the toothbrush into a wastebasket on the other side of the toilet, the side that was beside the sink. She then picked out her own toothbrush, and quickly brushed her teeth with a steely determination.

Sakura Haruno was fine. She was perfectly calm, and nothing could stop her now.

She left the bathroom, and walked over to the table where all the makeup they had used on her lay scattered. She reached out for the needed articles, and started to repair the damage.

She stared at her reflection. It wasn't that bad, and the mascara was waterproof, so she didn't have to worry too much about that.

A few minutes later, after doing her magic, she was ready. But she didn't leave before straightening her dress, and fixing a few strands that had switched side.

With a precise stare at the mirror, she genuinely smiled.

_You're beautiful_, she told herself. _You're beautiful, Sakura Haruno._


End file.
